I was fast asleep in the hallway, dreams of biscuits galore
When suddenly I was awoken by a knock at the door
There at the door with a parcel was the hooman from DPD
So I ran and jumped at the door glass - much easier to see

Now eye to eye with the hooman I barked so he knew I was there
I was hoping he had fish treats and was the kind who liked to share
He looked a little bit nervous as he waited for someone to come
I hoped it was dad, he was easy, but instead it was trouble....it's mum

She said get down, stop barking and spoke in a voice that was stern
'I'm sick of you acting like this Monty you're Nine now won't you ever learn?'
Well I thought I'd learnt pretty nicely, I was always the first to the door
I could hit it full speed on me back legs and then clean the glass with me paw

Mum made me get down and step back before she would open to see
But I couldn't contain me excitement I was sure he'd brought summat for me
As she opened the door just a smidgen I wanted to see what had come
So I pushed from one side to another but I just couldn't get past me mum

Desperate measures were needed so I took a bit of a run
And pushed just as hard as was possible these deliveries were always good fun
Unfortunately mum had blocked me so she took the full force of me charge
There's not many hoomans stay standing when caught with a full Monty barge

Luckily she was propped up quite firlmly and holding on to the door frame
Though her face got smacked on the door edge and that was a bit of a shame
From outside the driver saw nothing but mum as she moved to and fro
Her head bouncing one side then another.........he decided it was time he should go

The door closed and mum stood there dishevelled and seemed a little bit mad
She muttered and cursed in the hallway words usually used by me dad
It was time to go into me routine of sad face with those big puppy eyes
You can see it work in an instant as all of that angerness dies

Mum walked off with a warning - 'you really do need to behave'
I thought for a while I was in trouble that was a really close shave
All that excitement was tiring though it was definitely time for a nap
Besides I'll need all me energy for the next delivery chap.......…….